It’s no secret: Kid Cudi has spent his life battling depression. The 32-year-old Cleveland native made his music debut and opened up to the world through his 2008 rookie mixtape, A Kid Named Cudi. The Plain Pat hosted project captivated people through its innovative style, vulnerability, teachings of self-acceptance and introducing us to The Man On The Moon.
Loneliness has been a Cudi staple since this tape’s drop, but I don’t think the severity of his depression was conveyed—or at least confirmed—until successive album releases. Sure, there were hints on A Kid Named Cudi—both overt and implicit—but there was still this inner emotional tug-of-war battle, suggesting that depression hadn’t yet consumed him, and there was a beacon of light—dim, yet present—guiding him.
The hook on “Down and Out” introduced his sadness: “Down and out, so I’m out and down then / Looking for a substance to drown in.” The hook on “T.G.I.F” found Cudi enjoying success and life: “Ay-ay, what it do my dude? / I’m living life, dawg, what about you? / And I ain't even gotta tell a lie / My swag, my steez got a nigga sky-high.” His momentous song, “The Prayer” (a contending favorite Cudi track), navigated this wide spectrum of feelings and offered self-clarity by accepting both his musical purpose in life and death’s inevitability. From both outward and inward perspectives, life was looking promising for Cudi.
As we all know, life trended more bleak than positive for Cudder, eventually forcing a voluntary rehab stay for depression, announced in a Facebook letter to his fans on October 4th. We’d heard from him in limited capacity through answering Drake’s shots via Twitter, but we were all anxiously awaiting his triumphant return this past weekend at ComplexCon.
It’s always tough to tell, but I think Cudi found solace in connecting with his loner fanbase; feeding off each other’s energy and assuring one another that everything will be okay. Perhaps the Kid’s biggest fan, superstar Travis Scott, joined him for their collaboration “Through the Late Night” and electrified the audience. Cudder performed a lively, euphoric 50-minute set for a thrilled and receptive crowd, signaling, hopefully, that Cudi will defeat his demons and continue to bless us with his beautiful, uninhibited music.
Check out some fan-recorded clips from his Saturday night performance below:
"Mr. Rager":
"Just What I Am" featuring King Chip:
"Frequency":
"Through The Late Night" by Travis Scott featuring Kid Cudi: